I read this book to my 9 year old this morning. Considering I have been immersed in contemplation of my life, especially recently, this book left an indelible mark in my mind. It brought to mind Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic, which I had read through animated recommendation of a dear friend.
It has been a LONG time since I have written on this blog. In fact, I had trouble logging in. I mistakenly logged in to another of my abandoned blog which used my old abandoned email account to which I no longer have access because my memory bank has probably permanently deleted that information. I had to go on my phone where my son had installed the wordpress app, thereby eliminating the need for me to log in, which makes me even more happily complacent, oh who cares. Anyway, as I was trying to figure out how to log in and completely confused as to why I was logged in to another blog, I thought to myself,
“Juli, this is what happens when you abandon writing for so long! Even your own blog with your name won’t let you in!”
Alhamdulillah I got in. I also noticed another thing. My passwords…oh God…what was I thinking years ago? I have definitely changed. I really have. My password is so…repugnant. Shudder.
The Pink Refrigerator is a book about being curious and keeping that curiosity alive and kicking. That is along the lines of what Gilbert mentions in Big Magic. I have been having trouble figuring out what my passion is. I narrowed it down to writing after much contemplation. But then life twisted and turned in ways that I found myself in the midst of doing a LOT of teaching to different people. During my contemplation that led me to narrow down my passion, I realized that I love homeschooling not so much for the teaching aspect, but I love it because of the facilitating aspect. Yet if I narrow that down, I have to admit that it’s the opportunity to learn along with my children that sends that spark of excitement down my spine when I think about homeschooling. I love learning. Thus, I tend to sign up for classes here and there. However, the order of my priorities right now is not such that I can do learning full time. Not after Dream. Not now.
So, I’ve been toying around with the idea of getting back into writing. The hard part is, I haven’t written for so long. I lost that habit, as a dear friend pointed out to me yesterday during a phone conversation. I realized she’s right. I need to get back into that habit. I did try though. I decided that I was going to journal on a daily basis, not on this blog necessarily, but in an actual hard copy journal. Trouble is, between rushing and driving Z to his Co-op, art class, science class, and my own pursuit of part time learning, I was too exhausted to carve out that time to write daily. I got a few entries in but they weren’t consistent.
I had reflections and ideas running through my mind, but they weren’t getting written down. I realize that that kills me inside, slowly but surely. I have this need to have things written down, so I just need to figure out how to realistically do it without pushing myself over the edge. This past week has been…very trying. But hey, at least I’m back on the blog! I think.