I’ve been reading tips upon tips upon tips on writing, getting ideas for writing from The Writer, Writer’s Digest and everywhere else, but I haven’t been successfully able to put them into practice. Problem is, I have lots of ideas (who doesn’t, right?) that happen to come at inopportune moments such as when I’m taking a shower, doing the dishes, changing the baby’s diaper, nursing him, etc. I managed to jot some ideas down on my To-Do list widget on the desktop, but I have to say that the push and drive or creative energy that usually comes when the ideas pop in my head dwindles when I am finally able to sit and type something. Occasionally, it does happen that I sit on the swivel chair, both hands poised over the keyboard, and am able to write somethig up in a matter of a few minutes, of course while shouting,
“Coming!” when they call me to dinner (All Praises to Allah, my children take turns heating up the food for lunch and dinner),
or stalling Baby Zoa’s nursing, saying to him,
“Hold on, Zoa, just a few more, okay?”
When that does happen, oh my, does it feel good! But there are also occasions when ideas pop in and out, one after the other, making me feel like I can churn out numerous articles and memoir pieces, but when I sit down in front of the computer, hands poised above the keyboard, my brain freezes, and it takes me hours and hours to come up with a satisfying piece. Even if the piece was done, I am always left with a feeling of incompleteness.
I think I’ll dub this ‘mommy brain drain’. It usually happens when I want so much to take that seat on the swivel chair while nursing Baby Zoa for agonizing hours, putting him down for his nap only to have him start scratching his neck and look for the nipple, eyes closed, and me muttering under my breath, day dreaming of writing up my wonderful articles in my head. In the end, when I am finally able to break myself free of Baby Zoa’s clutches, my brain has been so drained from all the stress of trying to ‘make it’ that I’m left with no creative energy.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my children, but let’s face it, we mommies need to do things for ourselves too, to regenerate the oxytocin so we would be able to give more. In order to give, you have to have a well stocked inventory. You can’t give when you’re depleted and empty. Some mommies need to window shop, or truly shop till they drop. Some mommies need to talk and chat with other mommies. Some mommies need to take a relaxing bath, and some mommies need to cook up a storm in the kitchen. This mommy, needs to write!
Well, I’m quite high in creative juices now, since I managed to secure a 3 hour nap with Baby Zoa this afternoon. I guess it’s true when they say that when you have enough rest, your brain functions well.
A nap a day keeps the ‘brain drain’ away.
I think I’ll enjoy this while I can, because there will come a time, when Baby Zoa will simply outrightly refuse to nap, and making him take a nap will be even more difficult than letting him play the afternoon away. I know. I’ve been there thrice before. And what a shock it was to me! Oh, how my ‘me time’ reality crumbled when instead of three peacefully napping children lay above me in their room, while I did whatever I wanted in the living room, three jumping and screaming children were threatening to bring the top floor down while I pulled my thinning hair out. So, yeah, I think I’ll enjoy this while I can.
