Hard Hitting Mercy

The last ten nights of Ramadan are upon us and we’re halfway through these last ten nights. I’ve always been enamored by the last ten nights from a young age, and I particularly remember the low hanging sun disc glowing soft amber in the morning sky as I strolled to school about 18 years ago.

It is my personal on going goal to improve each Ramadan, and alhamdulillah this year’s Ramadan is a completely different experience than last year’s. Guess what made that huge of a difference?

The absence of the stupid box. The mere absence of it makes such a significant difference! The mere presence of it has given me much unneeded inner stress and it has also become a source of conflict either internally or externally, but we were only able to completely get rid of it with this move to New Mexico.

Not to say it was not without any problems, though. There were problems. We were even offered a free TV, bigger and better than the one we had before we moved. Hubs told the offerer that I don’t want it. The offerer didn’t back down, but instead offered it to me personally again. Subhanallah. These things really come at you persistently, don’t they? I refused the offer. Not without resistance though. That was my first test of being posed the glaring question of

“Why don’t you want a TV?”

Sounds familiarly like,

“Why do you homeschool?” or “Why don’t you send your children to school?”

Ahhh…I never truly expected this test, seriously. I just thought that getting rid of the TV is just that. That it was more of an inner struggle for me, not so much an external test like this.

I responded and was met with a smile. It ended like that. Alhamdulillah.

I have to say that no TV upped the quality of our lifestyle rather significantly indeed, and Oh Allah, please preserve this goodness and blessing and increase us in it. Ameen!

This morning, as I read the below hadith in my inbox, something hit me hard. Last ten nights. Forgiveness. ‘Afw. Allah’s mercy. Allah’s forgiveness. It hit me hard. It truly did. Imagine a human being, someone whom you love dearly saying to you,

“Whatever you did, let’s forget about it. I forgive you. I don’t mind.”

And this ‘crime’ you did to that human being is truly heinous. Heinous, horrible indeed. Too horrible that you would hang your head in utter shame just from thinking about it. And this person comes to you with this kind of mercy. The tingle, the surge of gratitude, love. That’s what hit.

Now imagine this coming from your Creator. The One who knows you inside out. Who knows what you are thinking even before you think it. Who knows what you’re going to email even before you strike the keyboard. Who knows what blog post you are going to compose even before you click ‘New Post’. Who knows your intentions in composing such a post. Who knows you more than your parents do, and your parents were the one who changed your diapers and dealt with your tantrums and adolescence. This Creator knows you more than that.

It hit me hard. That’s what it did.

Hadith Qudsi, Allah said: O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind.
O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you.
O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.
- Saheeh. Related by at-Tirmidhi.

Beneficial Classes in Ramadan

Especially for sisters, there is also a class on Paltalk conducted by Br Wisam’s wife, Sr. Menahal.

It is accessible online and via phone.

Online: Paltalk -> Religion -> Islam -> 104 sisters

Phone:

Conference Dial-in Number: (616) 347-8100

Participant Access Code: 584696#

For replay (available throughout the day until the next day’s lecture):

Conference Playback Number: (616) 347-8199

Participant Access Code: 584696#

A Hiatus Or No Hiatus?

It seems that my life has taken a turn ever since we moved to New Mexico. I have been grappling with this change for the last 5 plus months now, and to be completely honest, it has had me going bananas, yoyo, up the wall and back down in a crazed manner.

Some people, especially women, claim that,

I can’t just stay at home. I need to go out and do stuff! I can’t stay home and do nothing!

I agree. You can’t stay home and do nothing. You stay home and you have more on your hands than if you are outside the home. Now, that, is referring to housework, assuming you don’t have domestic help that is. Domestic help to me, all these years, is a foreign concept, though I grew up with it. I personally loath it, though I won’t mind having it during my stress times. In this world of cyberspace, staying home gives us a lot of new possibilities. I know, I know. Some may say,

“Get a life!”

But seriously, when you do dawah work, you can do a lot on the internet. And I mean a lot. Especially when you have children, and are also homeschooling.

You see, my life prior to New Mexico was steeped in solitary confinement by complete choice. I love staying home. Some days, you really have to come and drag me by the tails of my hijab to attend social functions. It’s not that I abhor social functions, I just need that push. When I attend them, I enjoy them, but to take that initiative is like scrubbing a year old grease from your abandoned broiler pan.

I dabbled in writing, blogging, participated in community projects via online contribution, and of course homeschooled my three children, while managing to have babies later on. My life never required me to be esponsible for other people’s children before.

Now, I find myself mired in this very responsibility, all because I feel it is a sense of responsibility I should embrace wholeheartedly. Why? Because of this:

The best of you is he who learns the Quran and teaches it. (Bukhari, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Nasa’i, Ibn Maajah)

I am teaching individual lessons, Sunday school and group sessions, especially this summer. With everything I am already doing from before, I had somewhat planned for my life here in New Mexico. Since we knew that there is a dearth of Islamic classes in town, I decided to enroll in Taleem Quran (which subhanallah, came at an amazingly perfect time) which will e my occupation for the next three and more years, inshaallah. I have to say that that in itself i truly an occupation. Assuming that my life is the same as before, my time would be duly filled already. Add the teaching that I’m doing to that, my plate, which has always been greedily filled, is overflowing. And that, is the reason why I am now considering taking a hiatus in freelancing. Technically, I will probably still be ‘writing’ or rather, blogging, because that has become somewhat second nature. I am the kind of person who needs an outlet in the form of writing.

I have loved freelancing with SISTERS. I still do. I still want to. But realistically, I don’t know if it’s good for myself and my family to continue doing so. This is not an easy decision to make, and as of yet, I have not yet made istikharah about it, so it’s not finalized. Hubs recently told me I can just let him know if I want to start freelancing for another magazine I tried to write for years ago, because he has the contact info. But I found that my heart is not so inclined right now, because of all this teaching I’m doing. My ultimate goal in writing is not freelancing, but I have loved it, and I feel that it has given me great benefits in my writing. I didn’t do it for money, which probably makes it even harder to give up. Hubs, the closest to me, who could see the stress I am and was under, continues to encourage me to freelance. He suggests that I tweak my method of teaching so that the burden is not all on me. And I did think to myself, when mulling over all this,

Maybe I just need to manage my time better.

Then again, there is that concept of stretching oneself too thin (Oh, I wish! (literally)), and I think I have done exactly so. Burn out. Another concept. I truly honestly am obviously still grappling with this.

So, a hiatus or no hiatus?

Nasi Lemak

In Call Me Okaasan, there is an essay of mine titled ‘So Are You Malaysian or American?’ that talks about this very breakfast item that is my all time favorite. Recently, I managed to whip up the typical accompaniment, Sambal Ikan Bilis, consisting of cleaned tiny anchovies (thanks to my two kids) for the Nasi Lemak. Due to Baby Zoa’s allergies, I had stayed away from any seafood during the period of nursing. But now that the suckling period is officiallay over, I am back to my usual diet.

My son, my chatterbox, whom I have introduced very early in the essay, had remarked,

“This tastes like Nasi Lemak!”

and to that, my oldest daughter retorted, somewhat snortingly,

“It IS Nasi Lemak.”

“No, I’m just saying that it’s made right!”

A compliment from my Malaysian American and Malayrican. (That’s what they called themselves)

If it’s one thing that adds to my width and unfortunately not length, it would be this breakfast item. (And trust me, after reverting back to my normal diet, there are a lot of things that add to my width!) Alhamdulillah I’m not dilligent or motivated enough to whip this up every morning as a staple breakfast, regardless of my love for it.

I can go on and on about Nasi Lemak. I can make an ode about it. But I think I will let the photos do the talking, or rather, writing.

Nasi Lemak, translated explanatorily as Rice Cooked in Coconut Milk. Translation does not do it justice. So many things lost in translation. Nasi Lemak. I’ll leave it at that.

Book Review by Guest Writer

LET US REMEMBER ALLAH FOR THE WONDER OF HIS CREATION

By DR.SAFIAH OSMAN

Review written by : Zurina Ismail

This is my good deed for the day.

Safiah’s coffee table book is a book of poems that is embellished with lots of pictures. It is a book for which all proceeds from its sale will go to orphans and to children living in extreme poverty wherever or whoever they may be.

I have been taking a particularly long time to come up with a review for this book simply because poems aren’t my thing and I really had no idea where or how to begin. However when it was presented to me by the writer along with a request to review I just had to find a way around it.

Although this book is very much spiritually inclined, particularly by the insertion of verses from the Quran, it deals, however, with the very earthly matters of life. It is a book written with an appreciation of the natural wonders that surround us every day; the wonders of God’s creation. Safiah reminds us of the trees, the mountains, the rivers, the plants and animals that are, like us, fighting to survive in an ever challenging environment. She writes about the threat of global warming, habitat destruction and reminds us on each page and through each poetic line that the beauty of nature and the maintaining of it are in our hands; that the choice is ours to, or not to, preserve the gifts that Allah has given us. She describes us as the inheritors of the Planet Earth.

It goes without saying that the writer is very much a great lover of nature and fears that the environment that we live in today is being threatened by manmade creations that cause disharmony and destruction to the natural order of life that Allah has created for us.

Safiah has taken great pains to bring to life in words and lyrics the natural wonders of our world. She takes our hands and brings us for a walk through the many existing natural phenomena of trees, of mountains, of rivers, of the rainbow, of squirrels, of butterflies, of bees, of rainforests and even of vegetables, nuts, and grains et cetera and attempts to demystify Allah’s creations, by applying to them moral and spiritual values. Safiah conveys that it is these spiritual and moral messages which are inherent in nature that we should listen to because it provides valuable insights to the way that a true believer should conduct his or her life. Safiah uses verses from the Quran to amplify this message throughout her book and her devotion, belief and sincerity is evident.

In each of her poems Safiah describes vividly the physical features of what she sees around her and her thoughts and reflections return constantly to the greatness of Allah, His power and the preciousness of the wonders that He has generously blessed us with. Safiah’s writing are chock-full of imagery and one can’t but help ‘see’ things as animatedly as she sees them.

Safiah has likened the planting of a seed to that of doing a good and charitable deed. She addresses the gravity of honesty, faith, knowledge and clarity of vision in all that we do. Safiah has managed to weave the significance of such desirable traits as these and relate it to nature and the bewildering ways of God so that if only we looked carefully and reflected deeply would we realize the essence and meanings behind all His marvels and creations.

Safiah’s poems are not difficult to interpret as they are no hidden shades and nuances to deal with. They appear quite direct and her message comes across clearly and unambiguously. Hers is a constant expression of her love for nature and thus for the almighty Allah, His generosity particularly to our planet and to us its people. This is the main recurring theme and the consistent thread that runs throughout the book.

Safiah has provided beautiful pictures of all things natural, of rainforests, of coral reefs, of various animals, of mountains and so on to vivify her message and in an attempt to connect the reader to her thoughts visually. The pictures of fruits and vegetables certainly reminded me that we should all go organic, at the least. Although the book may be considered a book of poems there are, however, parts in which poems have given way to prose. Poetry and a lyrical writing style have been used to make her message more memorable, more refreshing, more readable and more acceptable.

It is not hard to realize that Safiah wishes us all to live in constant wonder and amazement and to respect nature because that would in turn mean a respect for the Creator and His greatness. Hers is a book that seeks to remind, to make you ponder, to reflect and to appreciate and respect the world that we live in, its beauty as well as its mysteries. Hers is a book that strives to remind us that we are merely a small part of a greater existence, but with consideration and a little thought in what we do every minute of the day we can do much not just for our world and ourselves but for all other living creatures in turn that inhabit this earth. Hers is a book for reflection.

This book is available at MPH bookstores.

About the author

Dr. Safiah Osman is a graduate of the University of Malaya in education and left for the United States on a Fulbright scholarship. She obtained an M.Sc (Education) from the University of Kansas, Lawrence, Kansas. She returned as a lecturer in University Malaya and then left to pursue her doctoral programme at State University of New York at Albany. She obtained a M.Sc (Reading) and also a Doctorate in Education (Ed. D) from the same university.

Dr .Safiah was the founder member and first president of the Malaysian Reading Association that is affiliated to the International Reading Association. She was the recipient of the National Union of Graduate Teachers Book Prize and the Mary Ellen Galluci Award given by the American Association of University Women, Washington D.C., USA

Dr. Safiah was a Professor of language Education at the University of Malaya, Kuala Lumpur and later joined University Pendidikan Sultan Idris, Tanjung Malim, Perak, Malaysia as Professor of Language Education and also held the post of Director for International Relations before her retirement in 2004.

Call Me Okaasan

Sometime in June, I received an invitation to submit an essay to an anthology focused on mothering across cultures. The writing was filled with a lot of contemplations, reflections, and digging into our feelings about raising children in a foreign cultural environment. It took me two months to finish writing the essay, which I then happily submitted. In January, I was informed that the anthology was out.

And here it is; Call Me Okaasan: Adventures in Multicultural Mothering.

Your, You’re, It’s, Its, Their, There

I have never seen as much mix up of homonymns in my life until these past few years. To be honest, it truly irks me when I see these mix ups in Islamic writings, flyers (especially), and advertisements. Isn’t it enough that Muslims are labeled terrorists? Do we want them to label us illiterates too?

Ok, that may be a little over the top, but seriously, I don’t think it hurts to do some extra editing before those flyers go out to the masses. Of course, this may be a pet peeve of some people, and not a big deal to others, and I can see where it’s not a big deal. As long as the message gets across, I guess that’s the most important thing. Maybe it’s just me who wants to kick it up a notch. Maybe it’s just me.

Regardless, I was doing some final editing on a booklet this morning, when I suddenly found myself lost in a world of commas and lists. So I googled ‘grammar rules list commas’. I right clicked. My one-sided clicks landed me on Copyblogger, on a particular post called, Five Grammatical Errors that Make You Look Dumb. Ditto.

When homeschooling my kids, I also came across this exercise; differentiating between their and there, it’s and its, your and you’re. Good inclusion of grammar lessons. I don’t remember doing that kind of exercises back when I was learning grammar. Then again, that was donkey years ago. I guess it’s one of those common mistakes people make. Where I, a non native speaker struggle with the verbal aspect of English, the native speakers seem to struggle with the grammatical aspect. Very interesting indeed.

As for my lists and commas, I learned something new, or maybe, I was just caught in one of those mesmerizing moments of commas, that I forgot all rules of lists and commas. But, I like this here google result:

Grammar Book

I don’t claim to be a grammar specialist. I just know it sounds off, and reads off, but I don’t necessarily know why all the time. So their! Your welcome! Its a wonderful world!

Don’t your eyes just hurt?

For those who missed the Ilminar…

Parts of the ilminar; Hikmah; Using Wisdom in Trying Times, can be found on HalalTube, alhamdulillah.

Muhammad AlShareef

Yasir Qadhi

Waleed Basyouni (as the surprise guest speaker)

Hikmah: Using Wisdom in Trying Times

As the world watches the grave events unfolding in the Gaza Strip, history is awaiting to document the actions humanity is about to take:

Shameful Inaction or Heroic Justice?

It is human nature to feel all kinds of intense emotions towards the atrocities in Gaza: anger, sorrow, shame, fear, sadness….yet history is filled with stories of these very emotions resulting in dangerously wrong courses of action. It is evident, then, that these natural feelings act as fog: blurring our hindsight and preventing us from seeing the big picture.

The question then is: in these trying times, how do we use hikmah (wisdom) instead of emotion when taking the right course of action for our Ummah?

Join us for a special Ilminar as we answer this very question and in co-operation with Islamic Relief launch a unique ONLINE fundraising effort for our brothers and sisters in Gaza. Be among those whom history documents as partakers of heroic justice, and above all, those who embodied the true message of Islam.

With:
- Shaykh Yasir Qadhi(Dean of Academics, AlMaghrib Instiute)

- Dr.Hany El Banna(Founder, Islamic Relief)

- Shaykh Muhammad Alshareef(Founder, AlMaghrib Institute)

———————-

Convert to your timezone here:

http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html

Spaghetti and Meatballs Malaysian Style

I love Mee. No, it’s not a typo, and no, I’m not being narcissistic.

Mee is what noodles are called in some parts of Asia. Mee Kari (Curry Mee), Mee Jawa, Mee Bandung, Mee Hailam, Mee Udang, Mee Goreng (Fried Noodles), Mee Rebus. I can spew out an exhaustive list of noodle dishes  in Malaysia and Indonesia, but since that would only make me salivate pathetically, I’ll stop at Mee Rebus.

I grew up eating a lot of Mee, mostly those sold at hawker stalls or in food courts. The Indian eatery next to my father’s clinic nurtured me with my repeated requests for Mee Rebus; bowls upon bowls of voluptious yellow noodles swimming in a sea of thick yet fluid soup emanating with a fusion of aromas I always attributed to coriander and cumin.

Not all noodle dishes have Mee in their names though. Some of my favorites bear the word Laksa (more information on Laksa can be found on Wikipedia) such as Laksa Penang, Curry Laksa, Assam Laksa.  So much for stopping at Mee Rebus. These Laksa may use different kinds of noodles, ranging from flat thick rice noodle to the thin strands of vermicelli.

Before I start to drool, let me get to the point of this post; my own Mee-ly creation; Meatball Curry Mee. With help from two of my wonderful and helpful children (May Allah preserve their goodness. Ameen), I managed to make and hoard a large amount of meatballs. My intended plan was to have frozen meatballs, ready to be collectively dunked into a simmering pot of spaghetti sauce (from a jar) for times when I’m too lazy to cook from scratch. I know. I didn’t have to make meatballs from scratch to have a quick meal of spaghetti and ground beef, but give me a break here, okay? Unfortunately for me, I am a ‘from scratch’ person. Even when I’m lazy and grouchy, I have to have something that is made from scratch.

My mother will heartily agree with me when I say that deciding what to cook for lunch or dinner can be very mind boggling. I find that to be one of the difficult challenges in being a stay at home wife. It can ruin your sleep, rendering you an insomniac as you rack your brain trying to figure out what to cook for lunch the next day.

I used to make weekly menus, which I have to say, greatly solves the problem for me. However, my days of  ‘prim and  proper’ and ‘list and order’ are long gone. Today, I am a fairly reluctant cook who whips up unnamed dishes at the spur of the moment. I don’t have as much cooking-attributed  insomnia, but some days, I still find myself brooding and mulling over the dreaded question,

“What shall I cook today?”

One such day, I found myself staring at a ziploc of frozen homemade meatballs plopped carelessly in the freezer. I took them out, planning to cook them, but I didn’t know what I was going to do with them exactly. I thought spaghetti and meatballs, but let’s face it, I am a Malaysian to the core. Well, when it comes to my taste buds anyway.

No Italian tomato-based spaghetti sauce, I thought.

I needed something pungent. Something that will make you shudder with ecstasy and lick your lips with satisfaction. That something had to come about from the bag of frozen meatballs in my hands. My eyes darted to the spice shelves. Before I knew it, my gaze had landed on a plastic jar of Madras Curry powder I had bought at an Asian grocery store, against hubby’s protests about it being too expensive. Personally, I think it’s worth the cost. It’s expensive for a reason. It makes great curries!

Though the United States, or at least where I live, has a dearth of Malaysian curry powder, namely the Adabi brand, I have made do with whatever curry powders are sold in the stores. My new favorite is the Madras Curry Powder.

I looked at the meatballs, and I looked at the curry powder. An idea began to form in my taste buds, I mean, my brain.

Why not make spaghetti and meatballs, but with a curried sauce?

If I had gotten into a hot air balloon, I doubt I would have gotten back down to earth. I felt like an undiscovered genius!

I have to admit that I had the desire to make Bakso with those meatballs. Bakso, is one of my favorite Indonesian noodle dish that is commonly sold by hawkers, stationary or mobile. I remember being ladled a bowl of steaming Bakso by a mobile hawker who ran his rounds throughout the residential area in Medan. (A Bakso recipe from Cooking with Heart & Soul.)

However, being bound by Baby’s allergies, I figured I would not be able to experience the complete coalescence of condiments required to eat Bakso, one of them being sweet soy sauce. I have to be grateful for this impediment though, for it greatly helped me to come up with what I deem my ingenious idea. Hot air, hot air. I was full of it that morning.

Driven by that gust of hot air, I proceeded to make the curry as I do any other curry.

1. Make a wet paste of minced onions, garlic, ginger, curry powder and chilli paste.

2. Heat oil, and saute the wet paste with a few whole cloves, star anise and cinnamon stick until the oil rises to the top.

3. Pour in canned coconut milk. Add water to the desired consistency, and leave to simmer.

I always used to shortchange this step, cheating the onions and spices out of releasing their flavor and aroma completely, but a few sessions with my mother in the kitchen rectified this. She emphasized that  the paste needs to be cooked slowly for quite some time to release the full flavor and aroma. Henceafter, I began to notice that my curries look much ‘prettier’. I fondly term them ‘Pretty Curries’.

With the will and help of Allah, I did end up with a very presentable and delectable, if I may say so, noodle dish. Instead of dropping a frozen school of meatballs into a simmering pot of tomato-based spaghetti sauce, I plopped a frozen school of meatballs into a pot of simmering pot of curry, generously speckled with deep shades of miniscule orange blotches where the oil had separated and risen to the top. My ‘Pretty Curry’ was born, yet again.

Of course, since this was whipped up on the spur of a great moment, I didn’t get to lavish it with a wealthy and generous garnish. The only garnish I had on hand were fried shallots and some parsley. It would have looked phenomenal with a few sliced fresh green and red chillies, a few wedges of hard boiled eggs, a few quartered key limes, fried and cut up tofu, and a decorative splotch of deep red chilli sauce.

Ahh…Mee, Mee, Mee. I am a genius, am I not? No, those are not typos. Narcisissm? Err…yes, maybe a tad. Ok, triple tad.

Since I didn’t note down the measurement of the ingredients, I wonder if I can recreate this gastronomical wonder a second time around, with equally delectable results. Hmm…I might need another burst of hot air.

Links to recipes of some Mee dishes mentioned above:

Assam Laksa from Beachlover’s Kitchen

Penang Laksa from Rasa Malaysia

Mee Hailam from MamaFami’s Spice and Splendour